A new feature.

EDIT:

So, for those of you who frequent the page, you may have noticed a few changes.

Firstly, I moved a couple things around, to put the best foot forward, so to speak.

Secondly, I put in a new feature. By clicking on the new image you see on the right (which will change periodically), you will be taken to my personal photo album of the pictures I have taken most recently. From there you can browse my entire album.

Not much else on the go, but I'll be putting new pics up today.

Moi.

RE: Can a ninja swat a bullet out of mid air?

Mythbusters,

I wholeheartedly respect your ambition and motivation in tackling such an epic ‘myth’. Just for the record, yes, we can.

There are a couple things you must understand about us… ninja’s. First of all, and before I mention anything else, know this; you will NEVER understand us. You can’t begin to understand us, because you’ll never study us… we’re simply too sneaky. The person who made this myth up was obviously a liar. People don’t LIVE to talk about post-ninja encounters. You can’t SHOOT a ninja, or even shoot AT a ninja, because you don’t SEE ninja’s. If you see a ninja… you’re probably already dying.

To assume you can replicate a ninja’s speed by pressurizing a piece of wood with a Jell-o hand on it, is beyond the scope of my imagination. You didn’t even use a ultra-sweet material like Titanium or Fiberglass. You concluded that ninja’s could not in fact swat a bullet out of mid air. Little did you know, I swatted the very same bullets you fired at your mechanical Nonja, before you even had them out of the box. To further prove a Ninjistical point, I slapped the bullet AGAIN while you were loading it into the weapon. Oh, you didn’t see me? Yeah. That’s what I thought.

Another thing you should remember, is that Ninja’s are everywhere. When you called out for Ninja’s to come down to the studio, to prove you wrong… I was already there! In fact, me and two of my ninja buddies were going over last nights hockey game right in front of you, inside the skin of your cameraman!

In closing, be forewarned... for although it only takes 8 minutes and 18 seconds for the light from the sun to reach earth, the 'light' I send you two, can only be measured in Katana Swipes!

Brownies.

So, a quick post for this second weekly night shift.

It's really simple...

In this new age of technology and automation, most things are produced by highly intelligent and programmable robots. This is all well and good, until they screw up.

On night shifts, there's not much I look forward to. One of the only things that perks up my night is the TV dinner I enjoy around 2am.

I tried a new kind of dinner today. The Swanson Pork Rib Dinner.

Now.. the ribs were fantacular. The potatoes... as good as TV dinner potatoes get. The corn and the brownie... well, this is the basis of my post.

I assume that a machine is responsible for rationing a dollop of rising brownie dough into the slot that is in between the potatoes and corn... the brownie slot.

In this case particularly, the machine missed it's mark... quite literally. I opened my Swansons packaging to find that the brownie dough had actually been poured on top of the corn. There's no way to fix this because You have to leave the corn wrapped while it cooks. I couldn't separate it. Two of the four compartments were ruined by the mechanized malfunction. Not cool Swanson's... Not cool.

On the plus side though... and I wouldn't have known this otherwise... I found out a new food I don't like. Chocolate covered corn. Thanks Swanson's.

My tent

My mommy gave me a tent for my birfdaie.

Here's some pics.

Facebook, Fried Chicken and Fog.

Same bat time, same bat channel. It's time for another edition of the late-night open letter.

A couple of things to cover tonight, and as you might have guessed, among my targets are fried chicken, the popular social networking site; facebook and Newfoundland fog.

First up, fried chicken.

The kitchen oven is pre-heating, currently, at about 350^f. I'm waiting to put in my TV dinner. I know you're probably asking, what could be better then a TV dinner, bought at the corner store... well, let me tell you... not much. I'm a fan of fried chicken, as it stands, in many forms. KFC, Mary Browns, Pizza Pro's... whatever, fried chicken is fried chicken. Nay. I hereby cordially invite all of you to consume a "Swanson's: Fried Chicken" (dare I say) meal. Look for the blue box. These things are a new type of awesome. Kind of like a CSI's sunglasses, these things are SMOOTH.

They also come with a brownie. Don't take the plastic all the way off though, cause they'll end up being wicked crispy, and not as tasty. Mine came with corn, but I've seen green beens as well. I'm telling you, just thinking about this thing makes my mouth water.

What set's it apart? The salt. When you bite into these things, it's like a baconator, you KNOW it's not good for you. It's so tasty, but literally every bite, your heart goes; "kthxbye."

Radtacular stuff, give it a try.

So, for those of you who consider yourselves to be at least somewhat internet savvy, or even remotely pop-culture literate, you've surely heard of Facebook. The new Myspace. Hell in a URL.

Basically, the Facebooker's life starts out slow, to keen to be taken in by the internet's next big thing, but interested, none the less, to see what all the fuss is about. Slowly but surely, the user's profile page is completely overtaken by the latest and greatest applications. Everything from Youtube to sports news. Eventually, the user will start 'creeping'. This is when the user goes into the 'friends list' of their selected Facebook friends, and looks for people who seem familiar, in an attempt to have thier own 'friends list' grow, if not to reconnect with old chums. By now, the user spends approximately 15 hours a day installing and uninstalling new applications, creeping and just generally browsing the cavernous gut of Facebook. The problem is, at the end of the day, Facebook is gay.

This is why Facebook is gay.

First, what most people don't understand, is that although I know you're interested in saving the North African Death Beetle... I could personally live without knowing the plight of the little six legged sucker. When you send me an invitation to your group; "PLEEEEEZ HELP THE BEETLE OF DEATH IN AFRIKA!!!11!", I get an email. I don't care, and I don't WANT to care. Furthermore, I don't WANT to care about NOT caring! I know the world is burning. I know the animals are dying. I know the children are hungry. I know the people are poor. I know the next UFC is going to be absolutely the best unseen fight of all history. I know bush is an idiot. I know your weekend was fun. I know you hate studying. I know you like food. I know.

My email inbox gets, on average, 6-7 emails a day for events, groups and notices that I don't need, want or even remotely care about.

Wow... what a rant. Facebook is gay. I'd go into it more... but my TV dinner is done.

The fog can wait until after supper.

I shaved my head.

yawn.

5:07AM

Kkkkssssschhht. The tab opens on another over-priced, under caffeinated gas-store can of pick-me-up. (edit: DIET energy drinks taste like buttcrack. Now, I've never actually tasted a buttcrack, but they HAVE to be close.)

That's right, it's time for another late-night ramble-fest.

So, first on the docket, yawning... pisses me off.

Two main reasons, and after you read this, I'd be surprised if you don't at least THINK of this, next time you yawn.

First off, yawning makes you look absolutely ridiculous. Try to yawn into a mirror, it's hilarious. I've had plenty of time to do this tonight. The TV is busted. 12 hour sleepless night shift... no TV, internet is not NEAR strong enough to D/L any shows. When you yawn, your face is basically looking like some mixed-breed of having the absolute largest, most painful urination spell of your life and a sustained try face. For those of you who don't know what a try face is... 'try' this. Ladies at the vet... this means you.

Flex every muscle in your face, all at once, for a split second. You 'try' to make a face. A 'try face'.

When your face contorts like this for a certain amount of time, much like when yawning... your vision blurs. I'm not a major fan of that.

Second, yawning reminds me that 'hey, you're not sleeping... you should be... but you're not... and you won't be for quite some time.'.

I'm eating another TV dinner. I'm sure the.. 'potatoes' will serve me well in the coming hours, much like they always do.

Man, Diet energy drinks are absolutely terrible. I mean, NORMAL energy drinks taste like crap. So they take out all the elements that make it tastey, and call it diet... when it's STILL wicked bad for you. I mean, let's face it... anything that makes you feel your heartbeat in your eyeballs is NOT, by ANY stretch... good for you.

I'm on round 3 of the same movie. I had one dvd in my work bag. The Rock, with Connery and Cage. There's only so many times a guy can hear the same cheesetastic action movie one liners before it... it just...

Well..

That's LITERALLY all I can think of.

Easy 1-6 out. over.

The picture below is the 'before', the picture 2 below is 'after'. I'm last on the right.